My life has led me through and into some very interesting, painful, and incredible places. I met and married my first husband when I was in my early 20s and we very-amicably parted ways 14 years later, after supporting each other through what seemed like an endless stream of trials.
A few years after quitting my J.O.B. to launch my coaching practice full-time, I found the ground slipping – I was about to lose all that I’d worked for and desperately needed to shift some gears. After a year of hard and edgy transition, I finally landed on solid ground only to endure the catastrophic loss of four important men from my life (and also my dog) in the span of just 14 months.
What I see now is that all the chaos and growth and forced fresh starts were breadcrumbs leading me here. They led me to writing about the priceless gifts and lessons I found in my grief, and to a deeper version of myself that I now willingly share.
I coach people who are in all manner of relationships. People who have babies and squabbles and dreams. People who struggle with their own peace as a relationship ends. People who are simply not okay with things being “fine” and want more, more, more, whatever that looks like. And, if I may say, I am damn good at it. People have used the word “miracle” for what we create together; I am known for my loving, but firm touch.
And here’s what I know. As sure as the sun rises and sets, we are all going to die. We are all going to have the ground taken from underneath us when we lose each other. In order to live a full + big life, we must make friends with our end as it walks with us through our time on earth.
I am here as a gateway. Between life and death, grief and joy, “fine” and miraculous. I am here to support you as you bridge the gap between shadowy disempowerment and living in full awareness of what is happening all around you, for you.
Call me what you will. Perhaps I am a relationship coach, a grief coach, a writer, a witness, a mentor or a guide. Whatever you choose, I invite you to explore where you are in all of this. Where are you profoundly tired of your “fine” life? Where are you stuck on the way to incredible? Do you know where your grief is? (Trust me, you have some – it’s all around, even if everyone around you is gloriously alive.) Where are you the least empowered? Where is there small-ness and shrinking?
My shaman gave me this question when I began my work with her: What if you could create all you’ve ever dreamt of? She tells me that this is my potential. And it’s also yours.
I am always a little curious about people, especially people I am considering spending some pretty intimate time with. I think it’s natural. We all want to know a little more about each other. Here are some Fun Facts about me (and you can ignore if you’re not a looky-loo like I am!)
- I have never, ever met a dog I didn’t love. My own dog, a rescue from California, has approximately 238 nicknames, and yet it is a mystery to me why he doesn’t seem to know his actual name.
- I eat a lot of vegan food and also bacon, because balance. I love to cook and consider it my mission to elevate BBQ fare, but when left to my own devices, I sometimes have popcorn for dinner. I don’t believe in low-fat anything.
- I believe that life sometimes calls for our extra bravery, and that we will be called on to break our own hearts from time to time.
- I’ve hiked the Grand Canyon in one day and the West Coast Trail twice. When asked how these hikes were, I invariably answer, “Really, really hard.”
- My body is a scrapbook of my own story: I have 5 tattoos, plans for more, and scars that tell tales. After a lifetime of hating my body, I am in love with it now and refuse to colour even a single grey hair.
- I am the only solopreneur in my whole family and I just made a pretty major move so that I could live in a house with a suite for my parents and see them every day. I live with the second love of my life, and he entertains me with bad puns and facts about old cars and beams when I smile.
- I read a book each week and although I own an e-reader, I prefer to hold, touch and smell actual books. A mentor once told me to always have a budget for books, and I always have. I also listen to podcasts and audiobooks if I am in the car for more than 5 minutes.
- I love coffee, but I am terrible at drinking it; I nurse a half-cup most of the morning, warm it up for a few more sips, then forget about it. It drives my dude crazy.
- Life-long learning is my jam: after coaching for nearly 10 years, I am currently working with a shaman to explore the gifts I have around grief and death, and I’ve devoured courses and ideas since I learned how to read and write and embraced life as an introverted bookworm.