Ever been on a really weird trip that didn’t seem to make sense then suddenly just did, and then you thought “Oh, of COURSE it was supposed to go this way! How else would I have found this Bryan Adams t-shirt in the middle of Dublin!”
I feel like the last year or so has been that way.
A dinner with an old friend prompted me to become a doula last summer and go on to support couples as they welcomed a little one into the world with them. Tiring, yes. A front-row seat to a messy little miracle? You bet. A huge honour and joy to protectively hold a space where a family is being born? Oh. Yes.
What I kept noticing as I supported these couples, both before and after their births was my gentle and also tenacious concern for their relationships. Lots of people were supporting the getting-out of the baby; classes, lactation consultants, equipment suppliers, midwives, yoga instructors etc etc. There is no shortage of great resources to get that baby born, be it into water or a waiting OB’s hands, but I was finding holes in the caring for the two people who would be doing all the work and their actual relationship in the aftermath.
I started bringing in some of the work that I always loved to do with couples as we determined the Rules of Engagement in relationship; speaking about communication and conflict, sex and intimacy, and also the vision of how the family would feel after the shower gifts were delivered and the dust all settled.
When the opportunity came to get training from The Gottman Institute and use their forty plus years of research-based programming, it was like finding Bryan Adams in a back alley of Dublin. Suddenly it all fell into place and I suddenly knew what to do (again) and that I had to begin.
And so I did.
You’ll notice a new look, a new name (mine, instead of Big Life Coaching – which still exists but isn’t the main horse we’re ridin’ into town now), and exciting new ways to work together; Learnshops, One-on-Two Magic, and Relationship Jams. After 6 years of coaching, it was time for a face-lift and a new, well, everything!
My lesson in this is to always let the journey be the destination, and to also have faith that I’m getting somewhere good. And so are you. This moment, and this one, and also maybe this one might suck. It might be hard, but it’s for a reason. You’re learning something and you’re on the way to somewhere. And when you get there, there will be a push and it will be a celebration and then there will be all kinds of life.
Welcome, and thanks for being along for the ride.