Shame has been on my mind, both as a professional who sees clients holding what they feel will be rejected close to themselves and not daring to think of the (terrifying) other side of sharing and in my personal life, as I navigate opening up to new people and allowing myself to be seen in all of my vulnerable glory — it’s also quite terrifying.
Last week on Couple Talk Tuesday I spoke about Shame Busting and what followed was some interesting discussion and stories and the most brilliant may have been this, from a brief email exchange I had this past week:
“When I hold my stories to myself, it keeps me from receiving absolution and grace, but – and here’s the not ha-ha funny thing about it – it also denies the people I love the most the opportunity to step up and shine for me.”
What an amazing perspective!
I’ve asked you to allow yourself to be surprised by what happens when you share with the people in your lives about things that are shameful and holding you prisoner. And in this week’s CTT, I asked you to look at your relationships with your family and consider what you would like to choose for those relationships.
Here’s a laser to point with:
When you hold onto (and choose) shame, what is the cost to you? What deeper level of relationship are you denying yourself and the people YOU love the most?
What would you give you the bravery to get through to the other side of shame, where you’ve shared, have been seen, and held and loved?
Let me know your thoughts in the comments.